Hey guys, it's Lindsey. Kelly and I are currently working at the same restaurant in LA, because we like to do everything together. If you’ve never worked in a restaurant, then you may not know what is really going on behind closed doors while you are dining. You may not know that your dining behavior is appalling and rude. You may not know that while you were supposed to have 8 pieces of shrimp on your plate, your server was hungry and ate the other two. You may not know that because of one little thing that you said or did, your server hates you, the kitchen hates you, and the hostess definitely hates you. Here is some insight as to what is really going on behind the scenes before, after and while you are having your meal from your servers perspective.
We Hate You. Unless you come in silently and with a smile, sit without any hesitation or preference of where you’d like to sit, and order off the menu with absolutely no moderations, we hate you.
We haven’t washed our hands since the last time we used the restroom - When we pee, we wash our hands, but the rest of our shift we are too busy to, and we had our dirty hands all over your plates. Bon Apetite!
, and a piece of pita from your hummus plate, and ten of your fries, two pieces of your Calamari, and we tasted your cocktail. All of it was delicious.
Your silverware is not clean by the time it gets to you. See, it was clean, and then it went into a dirty bin, which went upstairs, and sat on a shelf, and then we “polished it” and touched it all over with our dirty hands (see above). Also, take a moment and think about all of the the hundreds of people who ate off that fork before you. Yup. It is what it is.
It doesn’t matter if you are black, white, old, young, Italian, English, or an Animal, we are judging you, making calls on how you’ll behave during your meal, what you’re going to eat, and how you’ll tip us after.
We hate when you want to taste the wine. It’s just an extra trip that we don’t want to make, or have time to take. Drink the wine I give you and shut up.
While legally we should be sent home if we are sick, they aren’t going to send us home and we are touching your food with our sick, dirty hands.
We don’t care if you are gluten free, a vegetarian, or have allergies… it’s all annoying. You my friend, are annoying.
From your favorite waitresses,
Kelly and Lindsey