Monday, November 16, 2015

When I was in my 20's I was a drunk tornado. When you’re young you could have a stupid job with no pressure of the future, you could date without thinking, “Could this person be the one?”, and you don’t have to really take care of your body because that shit is tight! Then you turn 30.  When you turn 30, it’s time to buckle down, look around and say, ‘What can I change here?’.  

Here is a list of things you did in your 20’s that you can’t do in your 30’s:

1. Dating unavailable men- It’s done, over, finite. Time to only date men who deserve you and  ones that you want to have an actual future with. Or a conversation with, let’s just start with that. 

2. Drinking 5 nights a week- The money wasted, the bloating, the hangovers, and the overall funk… it’s over.  It’s time to move forward.  Find a new hobby.  Try knitting.

3. Not washing your face- Ladies, your skin looks good now, but that shit is gonna catch up to you.  It’s time to thoroughly wash your face.  And I’m not talking just using a face wipe. 

4. Drunk dialing or texting- Not cute.  At 25 it wasn’t cute, at 30 it’s sad. 

5. Not wearing sunscreen- see, “Not washing your face”. I’m serious.

6. Not flossing- Ladies, dental surgery, gum disease, this shit is for real.  So, save yourself some money and pain and try to floss a few times a week and then we will work up to more. (The American Dental Association suggests flossing every day, but we all know that's never gonna happen.)

7. Sleeping with your male friends/co-workers - Take my advice, no matter how chill or cool you think you are, at some point this gets awkward.  Or you’ll start to watch these dudes find real life partners or girlfriends and you'll feel like shit.  Start putting yourself out there and look for dudes you really want to date. See, “Dating unavailable men”.

Girl, you’re in your thirties.  Own it.  It’s an awesome age.  It’s time to own who you are and take care of yourself and be the best woman you can be.  Take care of you heart and your body, and most importantly, your gums.

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